4.23.2002

BLOG BLOG BLOG
why?

b/c grace said so
so what's up gals!
gals rule!
regentgals, that is (=

lefter, righter, inner, outter? my gosh i'm gonna miss you grace

4.16.2002

the boys across the street are SO MEAN! (=

4.10.2002

all i can say is that some pretty funny things were stated last night:

everything from being tolerant versus being a midget
to videos of a certain genre...and defining them...
to "flirty" talk
to east versus midwest versus west
to white versus asian
to the LISTS of perfect spouses
not to mention closet sluts...

and of course there's always paul's ideal: blonde and blue-eyed but chinese, sorority girl hair, british accent with a slightly raspy voice...GL there...

and contrary to popular belief, kat DOES NOT have a thing for 7'3" 300-some pound basketball players from LA....
she does have a thing for ray allen though (= (= (=
but that doesn't matter b/c she's gonna marry taiwanese anyway...according to her little deal with God...heh heh heh

4.09.2002

Liz has entered the land of no return. (=
don't stress too much lizzie, it's not worth it!

it's been an entertaining evening. good laughs with graice...i had another quotable to put on the wall. (=

"i don't think she's that pretty"
"the top of her face is"

man, we're harsh... (=

i'm feeling a whole lot better...tanks fo ashking
i'm sleeeepee now...time for beddy by!

4.07.2002

YAY! somebody else blogged other than me! i guess you guys were right about your prediction...i guess it just took me a little longer than anticipated to get addicted. (=

so yea! regentgals dinner was fun last night. i think it was the best i looked after dinner...haha...jk jk. at least it was a "healthy glow"...and not tomato red like that time at charlie's...... (= so yea, aren't you guys glad i asked those thought-provoking questions? gets you thinking huh? managed to make grace blog a long one. har har.

i'm really bored right now. literally, i'm just waiting for time to pass.

so i totally agree with what grace was saying about bashing ppl. it really is a waste of time. i know how hard it is no to do it though. but i guess when you really thinking about it, it truly is wasted energy. i mean, think of all the productive things you could be doing with your life instead! besides...when you bash, it only makes the bitterness that much stronger...and that much harder to resolve. so good for you gracie. you're right...it's such a waste of time.

i think the person A and person B thing is different in every situation. sometimes the ppl in it know better, but sometimes the outside friends do. i think it's a pretty tough call. just pray! hee hee (=

i was actually also thinking about the changing when you like someone phenomenon. i guess i started thinking about it when meesh pointed out last week that she's like a chameleon. i know for a fact that i've been like that to a certain degree in every relationship i've been in. it's not really the guy's fault that i was like that, but i think that certain guys i dated didn't really help the situation either. i think that's why i've always been so confused in relationships. b/c i really didn't know who i was or what i liked. so some days i was ok with just being whoever i thought the guy wanted me to be, but other days it would just really make me mad. but then sometimes i go to the other extreme (on rare...but notable...occasions), where i'm so gung ho about certain things that i'm so unwilling to change. pretty messed up huh?

but it's different now. thank God! when i think about it, i do feel really bad about the ways in which i've treated a lot of guys. i have no shame in admitting that i've had a pretty messed up concept of what a relationship should be like. but i guess that's part of life, and i'm just so thankful for how God's changed me. i'm a living testimony to the power of God! woohoo! ok, that was cheesy...but it's tru... (=

you know girls, thinking about the chase thing...i think it's possible to always have a chase. really! i was thinking about it before i fell asleep last night. you just have to pace yourself. it's feasible. can't explain it right now...but i had this whole theory in the works last night. (=

dude, i blog way too much way too fast. "so much to say!"

4.05.2002

there must be something in the air......

oh the joys of meeting with my marketing group. after showing up 35 minutes late (gotta work on that...), i was delighted to see that we weren't doing work. (= instead, the boys wanted dating advice from LISA and myself. one of the boys is head over heels for a girl he met at work 2 weeks ago and started dating...and he doesn't want to come off as a "stalker." one of the other boys is all nervous about being rejected by one of lisa's girlfriends, whom he's met only once. and that would be the premise of our time together this afternoon......

according to tad, a girl's personality is 80% of the battle. and actually, if a girl's made it that far, she doesn't even have to worry too much about the last 20% of her looks. the natural look is best; if a girl can look just as beautiful when she gets up in the morning...or even more beautiful...than when she goes out at night, then that's true beauty. awwwwww (=

so then we talked about the stalking thing and how to show a girl how much you like a girl without scaring her off. we all agreed that it depends on what the situation was like before the interest kicked in. in my own experience, guys who start pursuing a girl after only having met her run a much higher risk of being labeled a stalker. that's just the way it is. now, i'm not saying that it's ALWAYS true b/c i believe that a guy is actually capable of really liking a girl (to the point of wanting to pursue her right away) without it purely being for physical attraction or having these ridiculous notions of eternal bliss. but statistically speaking, that couldn't possibly be the case with every guy that i've labeled as stalker. the world just doesn't work that way. (=

but like i said earlier, every guy and situation is different. there's really no magic formula. really, it's just gut instinct. true, sometimes us girls screw up, and we get all paranoid. i know i'm guilty of having done that. but the past is past, and i've learned.

so one of the boys was wondering if it would be easier to approach a girl if he were just drunk. if you really a girl, then don't ever do that. it'll set you back on the path of progress...way back. it's maybe flattering for like the first 5 minutes b/c you get the satisfaction of knowing that you're desirable, but then it just gets obnoxious. *cough.* (= but seriously, if 80% or whatever majority % of a girl is personality, hitting on a girl when you're drunk isn't exactly the best way to show her that that's how much you value personality. i can see how it would be different if you've known the person for a while, and you're actually friends, but that kinda goes back to a kind of stalker on my list of types. so really it's a lose-lose situation.

i'm not trying to lay out a strict regimen for guys to follow...nor am i saying that once you screw up it's the end of the story. don't get me wrong, i'd be the first to admit that girls can be pretty ridiculous in their behaviors as well. (= but i AM saying that 2 wrongs don't make a right though. so i'm just here to give some friendly advice to help you boys along...you ppl are always asking anyway. (=

4.04.2002

i hope this gets published b/c it would be a big fat waste of time if it didn't. ok, maybe not...i guess at the very least it'd help me organize my thoughts.

so i got my first response, so that's why i'm blogging again. although, it's just ANDRI, so i dunno if that really counts...jk. (= anyway, she commented on my "judging others" entry, and there's 2 things that she mentioned that i think is worth quoting: 1) the purpose for everything is God's glory (not that it works out to teach me things in life, or others. it usually works out that way, but there's a much higher purpose). 2) all that i'm responsible for is trusting in God. the love flows and remains that way, instead of me trying to "care" about people on my own.

if only i lived each and every day of my life in total belief to this, then maybe i wouldn't get myself into so much trouble all the time. (=

God's been blessing me in tremendous ways for the past week or so though, and it couldn't have come at a better time. At some point on Saturday, i dabbled with the idea of doing something quite stupid with my life. Luckily with all the ppl over this weekend, I didn't have time to really think about it all that much, and praise God for that b/c it probably would've negated everything God's pulled me through this year. God's timing is ridiculous (and i use that word in a good way). it just makes me stand in even more awe of Him and His divine power.

in a tiny little nutshell, God made me realize that i don't have to be so scared of moving on. i'm always scared b/c i feel like there won't be anything better. like when i graduated high school, i was terrified of coming to college b/c everything that i knew and loved was going to be way back in good old cherry hill. and the sad thing is, that even though i can see how God has provided in great ways the past 3 years, i am still scared of moving on from here. i think i need to constantly remind myself of all the ways God's been faithful in His promises and answering my prayers. i was talking to LAURA about that today, and man, it's just so easy to get wrapped up in your own woes and forget that God has something so much greater in store.

But as i said, God has been consistently assuring me the past week that His plans for me are so much greater than what i see in front of me right now. i know that sounds so simple, and those words can just roll off anyone's tongue. but really, when you think about what that means, it's quite mind-blowing. especially when you get a glimpse of what your life could be like if you let God take control. (=

dridri - we studied this in small group last night. and i think it goes well with all the stuff we talked about last year. "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. BE JOYFUL IN HOPE, PATIENT IN AFFLICTION, FAITHFUL IN PRAYER. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality....Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." - Romans 12:9-13, 21
i love and miss you andri...thanks for stopping by on tuesday. CONNECTION for all eternity. (=

"Turns out not where but who you're with that really matters, and hurts not much when you're around. And if you hold on tight to what you think is your thing, you may find you're missing all the rest."

it works (=

4.03.2002

hallo
i'm sitting in the grad right now...bumming for half an hour...until it's time to go to chinese class. haha, mike just imed me asking if the stalker was back b/c i signed on to my other screen name. (= nope nope, no stalkers anymore. i don't even dwell on the thought of someone stalking me anymore. it's pretty much a waste of time. so anyway, my life has been hectic the past few days; there's been a million ppl crashing at our apt for the past week. it's been fun...but no work has been done. i can't believe there's only 2 weeks left of class...i'm gonna fail all my finals! ok, no i won't, but everyone always says stuff like that. actually, i hope that i don't fail marketing...that would be really sad to see a big fat FAIL instead of PASS on my transcript.

anyhoo, so i think i'm at a really interesting point of my life right now. i'm 21, i've got one more semester of college, i've been getting crapped on for the past 2.5 years of my life (all for a great cause though...hee hee)...and i feel like anything is really possible at this point. haha...the cheesy side of kathy. ok, jk, it's not really a side...it's really the whole package. yea, so i'm rambling b/c i can't concentrate.

what else can i talk about?

so back to what i was talking about, i've been doing a lot of reflecting the past week or so, and i realized that i've come a really long way from what i was just a few years ago. i guess that's what college does to you if you let it. i think i'm just getting really nostalgic. i know i whine and complain all the time about the ridiculous drama in my life, but i'm actually quite thankful for everything that has happened. it's really forced me to take stock of why i am the way i am. i've been able to weed out some of the really crappy parts about me and learn to love the good stuff. like all this stuff with my identity has really defined my time at college: being asian american, taking a LOOOOONG break from violin and anything related to it, working out all the crap from every guy i've dated...and really letting go of past pain and tearing down the wall of bitterness (=, and OF COURSE, letting God take control of my life <3 <3 <3.

who would've ever guessed i'd want to be an asian american psychologist? ok ok...so i guess everyone guessed it. am i really that oblivious?! (=

anyway, i gotta find a time to go home. i really miss home. i've only got 8 more months until our new house is finished and we move! i'm pretty excited now though...we're living behind a golf course!!

i'm done rambling now. besides my 30 minutes are up. (=

liz really needs to blog...